I have started a new blog. I decided that a fresh start was in order. So... for those of you who have read and enjoyed Wordsmith At Play, I invite you to join me over at The Smith Chalet! (www.thesmithchalet.blogspot.com)
I do hope you will stop by.
Julie
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
PS...
Emily chose Jef!
Why I got so invested in a show that I sincerely dislike is beyond me. But these two seem genuinely happy. Good for them. Finding love on a reality TV contest may be weird as hell but I hope for their sakes (and Emily's daughter Rikki), that this is the real thing. They may actually have a shot at post-reality show happiness.
Yay.
Why I got so invested in a show that I sincerely dislike is beyond me. But these two seem genuinely happy. Good for them. Finding love on a reality TV contest may be weird as hell but I hope for their sakes (and Emily's daughter Rikki), that this is the real thing. They may actually have a shot at post-reality show happiness.
Yay.
And then there were... Sixteen!
My ears are bleeding. That’s because Tabitha and Napoleon (choreographers of this week’s opening number) chose a Marilyn Manson song to set their piece to. There’s a lot of yelling and screaming and somewhere someone’s blood is curdling. Oh, it's mine. My eyes are bleeding as well because this number is a gigantic mess. It’s supposed to be about “wicked beauty” or… something, and Cyrus appears with this silver half mask plastered over his face and he’s muttering something vaguely “mirror mirror on the wall”-ish and the whole thing is chaos. If Beetlejuice grew a uterus and then had an angry menstrual cycle this is what it would look like. Ugh.
After an unforgivable amount of time, the routine is over. Then it’s all “here are your girls, here are your guys” and we’re at the judges’ table. Adam Shankman is here tonight and he’ll be plugging his new Step Up movie every five seconds. He thinks it’s adorable. It is not.
Lindsay and Cole are first out of the gate tonight and while they get Christopher Scott as a choreographer, he has decided to phone it in this week. You see, Cole is a big nerd and Lindsay is a hot dentist and there you have it. There’s a dentist’s chair center stage that poor Lindsay has to turn around a couple of times – the thing is clearly too heavy for her. Way to sabotage your dancer, Christopher. It’s one of the show’s beloved “character” pieces and it does nothing for either dancer. She hops on the chair a lot while Cole looks nervous and then there are some splits and some kicks aaaaand we’re done.
Cole decides to stay in character while at the judges’ table and even after Adam tells him to cut it out ‘cause it’s weird, he doesn’t stop. (Cole, Cole, come over here for a sec. Don’t do that again. You look like a douche). Nigel wanted Lindsay to connect more with Cole, Mary wants her to “attack” it more and Cole is still being obnoxious by staying in character as a “nerd.” For the love of god, Cat, get these two offstage please!
Ooooh, Amelia and Will are up next with a Sonya routine. It’s set to a spare violin piece so I’m already in love with it. The lighting is dark and sparse as well, and A&W are dressed in muted colors. (PS: A&W - I will now be calling this duo Root Beer. Get it?) Sonya’s idea is that they are two people carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s all kinds of inventive lifts and it’s clear that these two dancers really connect with and trust each other. In addition each of them is emotionally invested. The crowd goes nuts, Mary yells and screams and when it’s Adam’s turn to critique he gives them a standing O. He praises Amelia’s lines and both Adam and Nigel call them “brilliant.” I do a little dance of joy in my apartment because I’m all about Team Root Beer. (It'll catch on. Just watch).
After the commercial break Amber and Nick dance the Tango. Uh oh. That’s two ballroom routines in a row for them. I smell trouble. This particular dance is choreographed by a ballroom couple I don’t recognize as having worked on the show before and I can’t spell their names. Hereafter they shall be known as Sabina. That’s it – just the one name for the two of them.
As for the dance itself… there’s no chemistry between them and it seems a bit labored. However, Adam thought it was hot and drools all over Amber while Nigel also praises her, saying she’s “… like a cobra ready to pounce.” He thought Nick was “… very, very strong” and Mary thought they were both just great in a tango she described as being extremely difficult. I’ll give you that the Tango is not an easy dance to get right, but I think the judges may have been watching this piece through rose-colored glasses.
Cutie pies Audrey and Matthew are doing a routine by Sonya in which she says she wants to show their aggressive side. It’s more “classic Sonya” than the softer pieces she’s done so far this season, with lots of bent knees and an edgy, offbeat energy. I think they are at war with each other or something. Whatever the idea behind the routine, I hate the song choice but Matthew is shirtless so that makes up for it.
Nigel: praises their virtuosity compared with last week’s tender piece;
Mary: gives Audrey props for extending each movement to its fullest;
Adam: confesses to being an Audrey “doubter” in the beginning but is now won over by her. He tells Matthew that if he keeps dancing like he has been the competition is his to lose. Yay, Matthew!
Oh, no. No, this is awful. Poor Janelle and Darien are forced to do lyrical hip hop to “My Girl” by The Temptations. The music choice doesn’t work at all as it clashes horribly with the style. In addition, the routine asks nothing of them as dancers. Quite frankly it's boring which Nigel actually comes right out and says! One of the things that frustrates me about this show is the unspoken rule that one must never criticize the choreography when sometimes it is exactly that which is in need of criticism. So, Bravo Nigel for calling the choreography “uninspiring.” He’s absolutely correct. He keeps going too, saying that Christopher Scott didn’t challenge the dancers and that he doesn’t think people will pick up the phone for that routine (thereby ensuring that people will pick up the phone due to feeling sorry for Janelle/Darien).
Mary is not any more enthusiastic than Nigel calling the routine “sweet” and telling the poor duo that they “did okay.” Talk about damning with faint praise. Sheesh.
Then there’s even more banal choreography as Janaya and Brandon dance a Sean Cheesman Broadway number. They’re on a bench, she tries to pick him up, it's supposed to be funny, blah blah blah. Whatever. It’s boring. But the judges have to say something so Adam calls it “super fun” and gives Janaya kudos for playing up the comedy. Mary and Nigel both thought it was entertaining. I disagree. They did their best in a routine that struck me as pedestrian and lackluster.
Cyrus/Eliana and the jive. Oh, dear.
It’s actually painful to watch. Once again, Eliana dances around Cyrus who just isn’t getting it. He’s got a big smile plastered on his face and I would too if I were an extremely limited dancer still on this show due to my winning personality as opposed to my skill level. Now I’m getting angry about the degree to which he is holding her back.
Mary tears into him noting that the transitions were rough, his footwork was terrible, etc., but pays him a compliment about supporting Eliana in the lifts. Nigel praises the choreography for compensating for Cyrus’ weaknesses – a remark that one really shouldn’t be obliged to make on a DANCING COMPETITION. He goes on to say that Eliana has not yet had a chance to show America just how good she is because of the aforementioned compensating for her partner. Ugh! Then why did you include him in the Top 20 Nigel?! You knew how limited a dancer he was. Yes, he’s adorable and his robot thing is awesome but please, let’s get real. He’s a sweet kid who shouldn’t be on the show.
Daniel and Alexa are not dressed entirely in red pleather this time, thank goodness. In fact, both are wearing FAR less clothing than last week as they dance in and around a bathtub. It’s too bad – this routine. I don’t think those without dance experience can appreciate how difficult a piece this is. Alas, difficult it might be and the two of them execute it with great technique but they are hampered with a prop that gets in their way, as they continuously climb in and out of said tub. Again, they don’t connect emotionally with each other, the routine or the audience. Adam says as much when he comments that it was “beautiful, but chilly” and Mary echoes him, noting that it was well executed but lacked chemistry. Ditto for Nigel.
Now we have a Foxtrot from Tiffany and George who are both cute and forgettable. However, considering that neither of them knows a thing about ballroom I think they do quite well by this number. Not much actual FOXTROT happening but it’s still lovely to watch. The judges go nuts – “it’s a lesson in connecting with your partner” (Nigel); “Tiffany, you were living it up there” (Mary). Good for them. They might be dull as dishwater but they danced that piece well.
For the love of god, Bollywood! Oh, producers! The only time Bollywood was interesting was the very first time you tried it in Season 4 with Katie and Joshua. They killed it! Since then, it’s been an exercise in seeing if the dancers can even get through it. Not to mention that each routine is EXACTLY THE SAME. I get it, you want to showcase dance styles from other cultures and that’s admirable. But can we stop with the Bollywood? You showcased it. A lot. Your work is done.
Anywho… Chehon and Witney do really well. Thank goodness, because B’wood has been the downfall of some very talented dancers. Adam points out that Bollywood makes him happy (so I’m guessing it’s not going anywhere is it?), and that they were both fantastic. He does want Witney to lengthen her neck though. Mary and Nigel are also very happy with the two of them with compliments all around. Huzzah.
Cat calls all the dancers to the stage and things get tense. Three guys and three girls got the lowest number of votes and those dancers are:
Girls: Janaya (not surprised), Alexa (not really surprised) and Witney (surprised!)
Guys: Nick (of course – sorry), Daniel (ugh – he’s so good but so cold) and Chehon (again – surprised by this).
The judges don’t need to see anyone dance again so we have no solos this week. But we still need to make the six of them sweat it out a bit longer and we have to pimp Adam’s movie so we get a preview of Step Up Revolution! Hey, who knew that Mia Michaels and Travis Wall both did choreography for the movie? I like that.
The piece presented on stage is high energy and fun and includes Twitch so I’m happy. Also, Katherine whats-her-name – the one from a couple of seasons ago whose voice gets really high when she cries? She’s the female lead in the movie and I’m not sure she’s much of an actress but she’s a fan-fucking-tastic dancer so… yay!
Also… Twitch is hot. Full stop.
Cat is super excited to see alums from seasons past and adorable sincere hugging takes place.
Drumroll… results!
The judges save Witney and Chehon. Janaya, Alexa, Nick and Daniel are out of the competition. Alexa looks like she’s about to throw up, Janaya doesn’t look the least bit surprised, Nick looks… like Nick, and Daniel is a robot who doesn’t feel emotion. There’s no time for the usual goodbye montage so the four of them huddle center stage under Cat’s protective wings.
Next week only one guy and one girl go home. Who will it be? My money is on Tiffany and George. We’ll see!
After an unforgivable amount of time, the routine is over. Then it’s all “here are your girls, here are your guys” and we’re at the judges’ table. Adam Shankman is here tonight and he’ll be plugging his new Step Up movie every five seconds. He thinks it’s adorable. It is not.
Lindsay and Cole are first out of the gate tonight and while they get Christopher Scott as a choreographer, he has decided to phone it in this week. You see, Cole is a big nerd and Lindsay is a hot dentist and there you have it. There’s a dentist’s chair center stage that poor Lindsay has to turn around a couple of times – the thing is clearly too heavy for her. Way to sabotage your dancer, Christopher. It’s one of the show’s beloved “character” pieces and it does nothing for either dancer. She hops on the chair a lot while Cole looks nervous and then there are some splits and some kicks aaaaand we’re done.
Cole decides to stay in character while at the judges’ table and even after Adam tells him to cut it out ‘cause it’s weird, he doesn’t stop. (Cole, Cole, come over here for a sec. Don’t do that again. You look like a douche). Nigel wanted Lindsay to connect more with Cole, Mary wants her to “attack” it more and Cole is still being obnoxious by staying in character as a “nerd.” For the love of god, Cat, get these two offstage please!
Ooooh, Amelia and Will are up next with a Sonya routine. It’s set to a spare violin piece so I’m already in love with it. The lighting is dark and sparse as well, and A&W are dressed in muted colors. (PS: A&W - I will now be calling this duo Root Beer. Get it?) Sonya’s idea is that they are two people carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s all kinds of inventive lifts and it’s clear that these two dancers really connect with and trust each other. In addition each of them is emotionally invested. The crowd goes nuts, Mary yells and screams and when it’s Adam’s turn to critique he gives them a standing O. He praises Amelia’s lines and both Adam and Nigel call them “brilliant.” I do a little dance of joy in my apartment because I’m all about Team Root Beer. (It'll catch on. Just watch).
After the commercial break Amber and Nick dance the Tango. Uh oh. That’s two ballroom routines in a row for them. I smell trouble. This particular dance is choreographed by a ballroom couple I don’t recognize as having worked on the show before and I can’t spell their names. Hereafter they shall be known as Sabina. That’s it – just the one name for the two of them.
As for the dance itself… there’s no chemistry between them and it seems a bit labored. However, Adam thought it was hot and drools all over Amber while Nigel also praises her, saying she’s “… like a cobra ready to pounce.” He thought Nick was “… very, very strong” and Mary thought they were both just great in a tango she described as being extremely difficult. I’ll give you that the Tango is not an easy dance to get right, but I think the judges may have been watching this piece through rose-colored glasses.
Cutie pies Audrey and Matthew are doing a routine by Sonya in which she says she wants to show their aggressive side. It’s more “classic Sonya” than the softer pieces she’s done so far this season, with lots of bent knees and an edgy, offbeat energy. I think they are at war with each other or something. Whatever the idea behind the routine, I hate the song choice but Matthew is shirtless so that makes up for it.
Nigel: praises their virtuosity compared with last week’s tender piece;
Mary: gives Audrey props for extending each movement to its fullest;
Adam: confesses to being an Audrey “doubter” in the beginning but is now won over by her. He tells Matthew that if he keeps dancing like he has been the competition is his to lose. Yay, Matthew!
Oh, no. No, this is awful. Poor Janelle and Darien are forced to do lyrical hip hop to “My Girl” by The Temptations. The music choice doesn’t work at all as it clashes horribly with the style. In addition, the routine asks nothing of them as dancers. Quite frankly it's boring which Nigel actually comes right out and says! One of the things that frustrates me about this show is the unspoken rule that one must never criticize the choreography when sometimes it is exactly that which is in need of criticism. So, Bravo Nigel for calling the choreography “uninspiring.” He’s absolutely correct. He keeps going too, saying that Christopher Scott didn’t challenge the dancers and that he doesn’t think people will pick up the phone for that routine (thereby ensuring that people will pick up the phone due to feeling sorry for Janelle/Darien).
Mary is not any more enthusiastic than Nigel calling the routine “sweet” and telling the poor duo that they “did okay.” Talk about damning with faint praise. Sheesh.
Then there’s even more banal choreography as Janaya and Brandon dance a Sean Cheesman Broadway number. They’re on a bench, she tries to pick him up, it's supposed to be funny, blah blah blah. Whatever. It’s boring. But the judges have to say something so Adam calls it “super fun” and gives Janaya kudos for playing up the comedy. Mary and Nigel both thought it was entertaining. I disagree. They did their best in a routine that struck me as pedestrian and lackluster.
Cyrus/Eliana and the jive. Oh, dear.
It’s actually painful to watch. Once again, Eliana dances around Cyrus who just isn’t getting it. He’s got a big smile plastered on his face and I would too if I were an extremely limited dancer still on this show due to my winning personality as opposed to my skill level. Now I’m getting angry about the degree to which he is holding her back.
Mary tears into him noting that the transitions were rough, his footwork was terrible, etc., but pays him a compliment about supporting Eliana in the lifts. Nigel praises the choreography for compensating for Cyrus’ weaknesses – a remark that one really shouldn’t be obliged to make on a DANCING COMPETITION. He goes on to say that Eliana has not yet had a chance to show America just how good she is because of the aforementioned compensating for her partner. Ugh! Then why did you include him in the Top 20 Nigel?! You knew how limited a dancer he was. Yes, he’s adorable and his robot thing is awesome but please, let’s get real. He’s a sweet kid who shouldn’t be on the show.
Daniel and Alexa are not dressed entirely in red pleather this time, thank goodness. In fact, both are wearing FAR less clothing than last week as they dance in and around a bathtub. It’s too bad – this routine. I don’t think those without dance experience can appreciate how difficult a piece this is. Alas, difficult it might be and the two of them execute it with great technique but they are hampered with a prop that gets in their way, as they continuously climb in and out of said tub. Again, they don’t connect emotionally with each other, the routine or the audience. Adam says as much when he comments that it was “beautiful, but chilly” and Mary echoes him, noting that it was well executed but lacked chemistry. Ditto for Nigel.
Now we have a Foxtrot from Tiffany and George who are both cute and forgettable. However, considering that neither of them knows a thing about ballroom I think they do quite well by this number. Not much actual FOXTROT happening but it’s still lovely to watch. The judges go nuts – “it’s a lesson in connecting with your partner” (Nigel); “Tiffany, you were living it up there” (Mary). Good for them. They might be dull as dishwater but they danced that piece well.
For the love of god, Bollywood! Oh, producers! The only time Bollywood was interesting was the very first time you tried it in Season 4 with Katie and Joshua. They killed it! Since then, it’s been an exercise in seeing if the dancers can even get through it. Not to mention that each routine is EXACTLY THE SAME. I get it, you want to showcase dance styles from other cultures and that’s admirable. But can we stop with the Bollywood? You showcased it. A lot. Your work is done.
Anywho… Chehon and Witney do really well. Thank goodness, because B’wood has been the downfall of some very talented dancers. Adam points out that Bollywood makes him happy (so I’m guessing it’s not going anywhere is it?), and that they were both fantastic. He does want Witney to lengthen her neck though. Mary and Nigel are also very happy with the two of them with compliments all around. Huzzah.
Cat calls all the dancers to the stage and things get tense. Three guys and three girls got the lowest number of votes and those dancers are:
Girls: Janaya (not surprised), Alexa (not really surprised) and Witney (surprised!)
Guys: Nick (of course – sorry), Daniel (ugh – he’s so good but so cold) and Chehon (again – surprised by this).
The judges don’t need to see anyone dance again so we have no solos this week. But we still need to make the six of them sweat it out a bit longer and we have to pimp Adam’s movie so we get a preview of Step Up Revolution! Hey, who knew that Mia Michaels and Travis Wall both did choreography for the movie? I like that.
The piece presented on stage is high energy and fun and includes Twitch so I’m happy. Also, Katherine whats-her-name – the one from a couple of seasons ago whose voice gets really high when she cries? She’s the female lead in the movie and I’m not sure she’s much of an actress but she’s a fan-fucking-tastic dancer so… yay!
Also… Twitch is hot. Full stop.
Cat is super excited to see alums from seasons past and adorable sincere hugging takes place.
Drumroll… results!
The judges save Witney and Chehon. Janaya, Alexa, Nick and Daniel are out of the competition. Alexa looks like she’s about to throw up, Janaya doesn’t look the least bit surprised, Nick looks… like Nick, and Daniel is a robot who doesn’t feel emotion. There’s no time for the usual goodbye montage so the four of them huddle center stage under Cat’s protective wings.
Next week only one guy and one girl go home. Who will it be? My money is on Tiffany and George. We’ll see!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Dance Your Ass Off! Top 20, Part One
It’s the first episode in which competition comes into
play and I’m excited! Go
team!
The opening number is a dystopian office-worker piece
choreographed by Christopher Scott. I usually like his group numbers and this
one is no exception. It’s sharp and
slightly sinister, with some fancy dancing with desks and chairs. Naturally people will call it an homage
to “Mad Men” with the vaguely 60s costumes but I think it’s a take on
oppressive working environments in general, not a love letter to “Mad
Men.” Note to the TV viewing
world: not everything is about Mad
Men! Yes, it’s a quality show but
can we please stop giving it a constant blowjob? Thank you.
Happy birthday to Nigel, Kenny Ortega is the guest judge,
Mary is wearing something shiny… let’s get dancin’.
Witney and Chehon are first up with a samba by Louis Van
Amstel. Yay! I love Louis – he’s
tough but fair. Anywho – they are
both gorgeous creatures but I can’t take my eyes off Witney. Yes, she’s in her
wheelhouse but she also has buckets of stage presence. Chehon seems to labor a bit. As a former ballet dancer I sympathize
with his struggle to relax his hips and add wiggle. Which is pretty much what Nigel tells him – that he needs to
relax into the routines more. Mary
picks on Chehon’s footwork but puts Witney on the Hot Tamale Train (complete
with irritating scream), and Kenny Ortega thinks Witney is hotter than Marilyn
Monroe. Well, she’s certainly a
better dancer.
Tiffany and George are next with a Sonya jazz
routine. After watching every
episode this season and paying close attention during Vegas week I STILL don’t
know who these two are. They just
disappear for me. Perhaps that
will change tonight.
Not really.
It’s a much more tender routine than we’re used to from
Sonya and while G and T do a lovely job with it I’m left feeling… meh. Also disturbing is that Tiffany reminds
me of Pebbles from The Flintstones – surely not what the costume/makeup
department wanted me to take away from the piece. They are very skilled dancers but are they special? Do they stand out? As an actor myself I HATE asking these
questions because they’re brutal ones that get asked about every performer in the context of some show/audition/etc. But the cruel truth is that talent only goes so far and then
that ineffable quality of stage presence comes into consideration. Kenny praises their generosity with
each other (I agree) and Nigel compliments the vulnerability displayed. Again, agreed. But the jury is still out for me on
these two.
Then: Janaya/Brandon doing hip-hop choreographed by
Tabitha/Napoleon. Tabitha is super
preggers. The gist behind this
piece is that Brandon has to choose between THE DRINK and LOVE. It’s perfectly fine and perfectly
boring. Nigel wants Janaya to work
from lower in her core when doing hip hop (which is an excellent point), Mary
wants Janaya to have more grit and Brandon is told “Hey, your name is
Brandon.”
Alexa and Daniel are performing a jazz routine by Sean
Cheesman. SC is not one of my
favorite choreogs so I’m already worried.
My concern increases exponentially when I see how these two are
costumed. Dressed all in red –
Daniel looks like the Devil going out for cocktails and poor Alexa has been put
in red spandex pants. Not only
that, they spend the beginning and end of the routine dancing their way in and
out of some scaffolding. There is
very little chance for them to connect with each other. It’s… dull, as far as I’m
concerned. Nigel wants the
audience to be aware of just how difficult the piece was and while that’s true,
all that difficult choreography didn’t do anything to showcase either of
them. It seemed like a lot of
movement with no thought behind it.
Kenny wanted the piece to take him somewhere and it didn’t. He makes a salient point when he says
that he “… admired the exercise but not the performance.” Yes. It was, if I may borrow from dear Mr. William Shakespeare
“full of sound and fury/signifying nothing.”
Amber (who has a super pretty face – jeez, how did I not
notice that before?) and Nick are doing a Viennese Waltz by Jason
Gilkison. But Jason decides to
ruin the entire thing by setting it to a horrid cover of “Nights In White
Satin.” Mary is very pleased with them, Nigel wants Amber to use her core more
when doing ballroom (he’s big on using one’s core tonight), and is worried that
the routine wasn’t special enough to get votes. Ouch. True, but
still… ouch. Kenny says something
positive about the camera choreography.
As mentioned in a previous post, I LOATHE the camera work for this show
because it’s directed for TV and not the stage. I know, I know… it’s a TV show, but that often means not
being allowed to see the piece as it’s meant to be seen on the stage and
it irks me.
Amelia/Will.
Confession: I already love these two. There, I said it.
They’ve been favorites for me as individuals from the very start. As a pair, I think they are fantastic
and compliment each other a great deal.
Tabitha/Napoleon have given them a hip hop routine to The Cure’s “Love
Cats” and they are, indeed, cats frolicking around a dumpster. It’s sexy, playful and stylish. They play off each other extremely
well. Will is such a big guy and
how he moves as gracefully and effortlessly as he does is a testament to his
skill level. It’s difficult to
move that much body as fluidly as the smaller dancers. Kudos to him.
Mention must also be made of the spectacular costume
Amelia gets to wear: a leopard print leotard with thigh high black boots. It’s delicious and I covet it. Nigel is over the moon, calling their pairing a great
partnership, the routine “terrific” and “danced brilliantly.” Smiles all around as Cat sends the
“cats” offstage. (Come on, I
couldn’t resist).
Oh, lordy.
It’s an African Jazz piece by Sean Cheesman danced by Darien and
Janelle. Look, I have NOTHING
against African Jazz as a genre.
It’s just that every single time it’s done on this show, the routines
are exactly the same. The dancers
are always costumed in some shredded “jungle” outfit and tonight is no exception. As usual the routine is high energy and
utterly forgettable. Darien and
Janelle are out of sync in several spots and rather than being “in” the piece
it feels like they’re going from one step to the next. Janelle has loads of charisma so she’ll
probably be fine this week but they both need something better than this to
demonstrate their capabilities.
Nigel, in an effort to find something nice to say, praises Damien’s
pirouettes in the opening number.
Enough said.
Gorgeous ballerina Eliana and charismatic but severely
limited Cyrus are up next with a Broadway routine by Tyce. GROAN. During the commercial break before we see them dance I
wonder if she will be dancing around him rather than with him? The answer is yes, as if there was
really much doubt. God bless her,
she is working her ass off and Tyce does a pretty good job at hiding Cyrus’
weaknesses. But I fear that this
is what will happen every week if both of them stay in the competition – each
choreographer will be forced to work around Cyrus with Eliana required to pull
double duty compensating for his shortcomings. In fact, Nigel points this out by saying that Eliana didn’t
get to show off how great she is – he thinks she is the benchmark for the other
women to aspire to. My question is
– when will she get a chance to really show what she can do without a partner
equal to her in skill level?
Look, Cyrus is charming and he does indeed try very hard
as Nigel points out when he says that Cyrus gives himself entirely to each
style. And that’s great! Good for him. But how fair is it to have such a limited dancer in the Top
20? In seasons past there have been
other dancers who excelled at one genre but were limited in others who
nevertheless managed to grow and develop as dancers (Comfort comes to mind and
certainly, certainly Twitch!). But
Cyrus is weak at every style except his own invented one. I love what he does and I give the show
credit for trying to make room for new dance styles and unique dancers. But it’s usually at the expense of a
dancer who actually deserves to be in the Top 20 based on merit instead of
personality alone.
(Stepping down from soapbox).
And now – a Travis Wall routine! I’m already happy.
Audrey and Matthew will be dancing this piece and really,
how lucky are they to pull Travis on week one of the competition? Audrey is teeny tiny and I get her
confused with Tiffany while Matthew is the Ryan Gosling doppelganger. Travis – much to my chagrin – has
decided to make the “Leo draws Kate” scene from James Cameron’s Titanic
come alive through dance. I love
Travis with all my heart but it’s not my favorite piece of his. That being said, even a mediocre
routine by Travis is better than just about anything else. Also – credit where credit is due –
Audrey and Matthew dance it beautifully.
It’s lyrical and romantic and the two of them connect emotionally to
each other and the story they’re telling.
(As a side note, the extremely cute Matthew is wearing suspenders –
braces for the Anglophiles among us – and for this I say, thank you costume
department. Thank you).
The judges love it, they love Travis, they love Matthew
and wee Audrey. Methinks these two
will be quite safe next week.
And now it’s Lindsay and Cole to close out the show. They’re doing a Paso Doble by Jason
Gilkison. This should be a piece
of cake for Lindsay. It must be
stated that the combined physical beauty of these two contestants is sick. Wow. They’re also well matched in terms of technique level – I
like this pairing. The routine is
sexy and dangerous, like watching two knives come to life. The judges give it a standing O. Mary goes apeshit, Kenny loves it and
Nigel calls them “brilliant.”
Since the results show has been eliminated we won’t find
out who’s in trouble until next week.
My prediction? Here’s who I
think ought to worry:
Girls: Janaya, Tiffany and Amber.
Guys: George, Brandon and Nick.
Next week TWO guys and TWO girls go home. Who will it be? What color dress will Cat wear? What pervy remark will Nigel make? Tune it to find out (or read about it
here).
Friday, July 20, 2012
Change of Heart
Yes, it's another post about The Bachelorette. Curse you, reality television for sucking me in! I blame Emily for being so charming and likable.
Last week I was team Sean but this week changes things. It's down to the final three and Sean fails to impress me. He seems reluctant to express his feelings. Yes - he tells Emily that he loves her and reads her a sweet note he wrote to her daughter Rikki but... there's something being held back and it concerns me.
And color me surprised but Jef went up in my estimation. He still has that silly hair but I like him far more than I have in the past, what, two episodes I've seen!
Emily gets very emotional when she sends Sean home. Emily - I think you made the right decision.
It's down to Arie and Jef. Hmmm... my guess is Jef. Here's hoping he gets a new haircut before the wedding.
Last week I was team Sean but this week changes things. It's down to the final three and Sean fails to impress me. He seems reluctant to express his feelings. Yes - he tells Emily that he loves her and reads her a sweet note he wrote to her daughter Rikki but... there's something being held back and it concerns me.
And color me surprised but Jef went up in my estimation. He still has that silly hair but I like him far more than I have in the past, what, two episodes I've seen!
Emily gets very emotional when she sends Sean home. Emily - I think you made the right decision.
It's down to Arie and Jef. Hmmm... my guess is Jef. Here's hoping he gets a new haircut before the wedding.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Ooops, I Did It Again
I watched another few minutes of The Bachelorette. Sigh.
Emily, if you are reading this (the chances of which I recognize are slim), please explain why you kept Jef (yes, Jef with one "f"). He looks like your younger brother. No, actually, he looks like Rick Astley. I keep expecting him to start singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" while wearing a trenchcoat. Sure, he's sweet but you could clearly take him in a fight.
Pick Sean. The fake out about still living with his parents was hilarious! Humor - an essential asset. Also, he chased after you (again!) for another kiss goodbye. And let's not forget those arms. Holy crap, the man IS physical beauty. As are you, Emily. Pick Sean and make pretty blond babies.
(Or don't make babies - you already have a kid and the world is overpopulated already).
Emily, if you are reading this (the chances of which I recognize are slim), please explain why you kept Jef (yes, Jef with one "f"). He looks like your younger brother. No, actually, he looks like Rick Astley. I keep expecting him to start singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" while wearing a trenchcoat. Sure, he's sweet but you could clearly take him in a fight.
Pick Sean. The fake out about still living with his parents was hilarious! Humor - an essential asset. Also, he chased after you (again!) for another kiss goodbye. And let's not forget those arms. Holy crap, the man IS physical beauty. As are you, Emily. Pick Sean and make pretty blond babies.
(Or don't make babies - you already have a kid and the world is overpopulated already).
Top 20!
Time to get down to business. The audition eps can be fun but at this point I just want to know who’s in the Top 20. Of course, this being SYTYCD we have to sit through lots of filler – shots of the dancers in the holding room, looking nervous, slow motion walks to the judges table, etc. I put up with it because I love this show but honestly, just get to the dancing, bitches!
The first to find out she’s in is Alexa – she who nearly made it last season. They put her through her paces in Vegas, calling her out for a lack of emotion in her dancing. Then she cried and they were glad. Anyway, she’s in the Top 20 and I’m happy for her. To get down to the final 35 and not be picked two years in a row would have been devastating. Next to be given a spot are Amber (she auditioned twice before), Will Thomas who is super tall and adorable and George Lawrence II whom I don’t remember from the auditions. Really, the only one of the four to have gotten screen time thus far is Alexa.
We go live to the studio where these four will dance a Tyce D’Orio routine. Oh, dear. Considering it’s Tyce it is neither dreadful nor cheesy, but it lacks focus. There is a long table on the diagonal center stage and the four of them leap on and over and around the table quite a bit. The ladies look like they’re dressed in rags while the men are in long shorts and t-shirts. Thankfully, we are spared the “this is what this dance is about” shtick. I’m watching the movement for movement’s sake. It isn’t all that original or inspiring but again, it doesn’t make me want to punch Tyce in the face, so that’s progress.
Here’s what does bug me and you might want to get used to this rant because you’ll be reading it a lot. The camera work on this show makes me angry. Plant the camera center stage and keep it still so that we can see the entire stage picture. I realize this is a television show but the cuts to a closeup on this or that dancer or stage left or right deprive those of us watching at home the chance to see the entire piece, the entire visual picture that is being presented. It makes me nuts.
The judges (Nigel, Mary and guest judge Zooey Deschanel doing some cross promotion for her show on FOX) give them lots of praise and then tell them that starting next week they’ll have mean things to say.
We’re back to decision day as the judges tell a sweet, weepy young man named Nick that he’s in the Top 20. He’s the first ballroom pick of the season. Then they bring in best friends and ballroom phenoms Whitney and Lindsay together. They try a fake out, telling them that they were looking for only 1 ballroom girl. Mary Murphy is not selling this well. And, of course, after telling Whitney that she’s in and waiting juuuuust a second for poor Lindsay’s heart to break, they laugh uproariously at their trick and tell Lindsay that she’s in too! They are both just too damn talented and so we’ll have 2 ballroom girls in the Top 20. While I wish they’d skipped the fake out, I’m very pleased with this decision because both girls are fierce dancers and I suspect will go far in the competition.
Back to the live studio audience and Cat Deeley in a minidress announcing that Nick, Whitney and Lindsay will dance a Jason Gilkison ballroom routine. And it’s pretty great. I mean, I barely noticed Nick, poor thing, because Whitney and Lindsay are both so good and have charisma and presence oozing out of their pores. Whatever happens on this show, both of these girls are going to be just fine. Over at the judges table, Zooey, who doesn’t have much to offer to the conversation other than stating that everybody is fantastic, calls the girls “firecrackers” and this is a true statement. Each has flawless technique and knows how to take stage. Mary gives us a “hot tamale” scream at which point the dancers look elated and I hit the mute button on my remote.
And then, praise God, we get full on ballet treatment! I am so giddy I can barely type this. Not one, not two but THREE classically trained ballet dancers are in the Top 20. Eliana – whom you may recall also danced for Cirque du Soleil as a classy pole dancer – is the first to learn she’s in and I couldn’t be happier. Daniel, who left his spot in the San Francisco Ballet to audition for the show and Cheon who put his career in NYC on hold are both in as well.
The three of them dance a piece by the superlative Desmond Richardson (if you don’t know who he is, get thee to Google right now). It’s a funky, stylish, athletic piece and I squeeze my pillow with glee while watching it. Elina is en pointe and her strength is just breathtaking. The two men are perfect and gorgeous and it’s all just too much for a former ballet dancer like me to take! Mary calls Eliana a “ballet warrior” and I heartily agree. She goes on about how thrilling it is that ballet will have such a huge presence on the show this season and my heart does a grande jete in agreement. The judges are on their feet when the piece is over. All three of them have loads of technique and I suspect will do well in the first few weeks. This being reality TV however, I’m not sure how Daniel will fare in the “personality” department. Stay tuned.
Janelle the bellydancer is in, thank goodness, along with two jazz dancers, Tiffany and Audrey. I think Audrey is the one Nigel called “Tinkerbell” at some point in the audition process. These two seem kind of interchangeable and forgettable to me but perhaps they will peak in the coming weeks.
Sonya (!) choreographed a jazz routine for the three of them but Janelle got ill and is forced to sit out on doctor’s orders. I feel bad for her despite the fact that she got oodles of screen time in the audition weeks. The other two avail themselves well enough in a piece by Sonya that seems labored. It’s not my favorite but I know that Sonya has all kinds of magic in that crazy hair of hers so I’m not worried.
Up next is a Stacey Tookey routine featuring Matthew (Nigel thinks he’s a Ryan Gosling look-a-like and yeah, I can see it a bit), Darien (a powerful dancer with lazy feet that the judges want to rip off his body), Janea (no idea who she is – apparently Adam Shankman was a huge fan of hers during Vegas week), and one other dancer. The fourth instrument in this chamber piece is Amelia, whose NYC audition dancing to Edith Piaf had me at hello. I like the routine but my eye keeps going to Amelia who simply has that thing, IT. Presence. Zooey agrees with me as she comments that Amelia is “lit from within.” I think Mary feels bad that all the judges commentary is about how terrific Amelia is so she throws Darien a compliment about his partnering work.
And then there were three.
Three spots left in the Top 20, that is. And seven dancers. Cole Horibe – the martial arts influenced dancer is in, as are Brandon (a stepper) and Cyrus, whom the producers have decided to call an “animator” for his unique style. Cyrus is original and I love what he does but he’s got his work cut out for him when it comes to any other style. Christopher Scott choreographs a dance for them that cannily plays to each of their strengths and lets each have his moment in the spotlight. Nevertheless, there are a couple of moments when Cyrus clearly has trouble keeping up. My guess is that his winning personality and his originality will get the votes and he’ll last a while, despite being technically weak. We shall see.
And now, readers, I bring you such good news. The top 10 girls dance together as do the top 10 guys. But wait! Wait. For I’ve yet to give you the best information of the entire episode – the girls dance to a Travis Wall piece and the guys to a Mia Michaels routine! Terpsichore is full of gladness and delight! Go to You Tube and delight your senses. You'll thank me.
The first to find out she’s in is Alexa – she who nearly made it last season. They put her through her paces in Vegas, calling her out for a lack of emotion in her dancing. Then she cried and they were glad. Anyway, she’s in the Top 20 and I’m happy for her. To get down to the final 35 and not be picked two years in a row would have been devastating. Next to be given a spot are Amber (she auditioned twice before), Will Thomas who is super tall and adorable and George Lawrence II whom I don’t remember from the auditions. Really, the only one of the four to have gotten screen time thus far is Alexa.
We go live to the studio where these four will dance a Tyce D’Orio routine. Oh, dear. Considering it’s Tyce it is neither dreadful nor cheesy, but it lacks focus. There is a long table on the diagonal center stage and the four of them leap on and over and around the table quite a bit. The ladies look like they’re dressed in rags while the men are in long shorts and t-shirts. Thankfully, we are spared the “this is what this dance is about” shtick. I’m watching the movement for movement’s sake. It isn’t all that original or inspiring but again, it doesn’t make me want to punch Tyce in the face, so that’s progress.
Here’s what does bug me and you might want to get used to this rant because you’ll be reading it a lot. The camera work on this show makes me angry. Plant the camera center stage and keep it still so that we can see the entire stage picture. I realize this is a television show but the cuts to a closeup on this or that dancer or stage left or right deprive those of us watching at home the chance to see the entire piece, the entire visual picture that is being presented. It makes me nuts.
The judges (Nigel, Mary and guest judge Zooey Deschanel doing some cross promotion for her show on FOX) give them lots of praise and then tell them that starting next week they’ll have mean things to say.
We’re back to decision day as the judges tell a sweet, weepy young man named Nick that he’s in the Top 20. He’s the first ballroom pick of the season. Then they bring in best friends and ballroom phenoms Whitney and Lindsay together. They try a fake out, telling them that they were looking for only 1 ballroom girl. Mary Murphy is not selling this well. And, of course, after telling Whitney that she’s in and waiting juuuuust a second for poor Lindsay’s heart to break, they laugh uproariously at their trick and tell Lindsay that she’s in too! They are both just too damn talented and so we’ll have 2 ballroom girls in the Top 20. While I wish they’d skipped the fake out, I’m very pleased with this decision because both girls are fierce dancers and I suspect will go far in the competition.
Back to the live studio audience and Cat Deeley in a minidress announcing that Nick, Whitney and Lindsay will dance a Jason Gilkison ballroom routine. And it’s pretty great. I mean, I barely noticed Nick, poor thing, because Whitney and Lindsay are both so good and have charisma and presence oozing out of their pores. Whatever happens on this show, both of these girls are going to be just fine. Over at the judges table, Zooey, who doesn’t have much to offer to the conversation other than stating that everybody is fantastic, calls the girls “firecrackers” and this is a true statement. Each has flawless technique and knows how to take stage. Mary gives us a “hot tamale” scream at which point the dancers look elated and I hit the mute button on my remote.
And then, praise God, we get full on ballet treatment! I am so giddy I can barely type this. Not one, not two but THREE classically trained ballet dancers are in the Top 20. Eliana – whom you may recall also danced for Cirque du Soleil as a classy pole dancer – is the first to learn she’s in and I couldn’t be happier. Daniel, who left his spot in the San Francisco Ballet to audition for the show and Cheon who put his career in NYC on hold are both in as well.
The three of them dance a piece by the superlative Desmond Richardson (if you don’t know who he is, get thee to Google right now). It’s a funky, stylish, athletic piece and I squeeze my pillow with glee while watching it. Elina is en pointe and her strength is just breathtaking. The two men are perfect and gorgeous and it’s all just too much for a former ballet dancer like me to take! Mary calls Eliana a “ballet warrior” and I heartily agree. She goes on about how thrilling it is that ballet will have such a huge presence on the show this season and my heart does a grande jete in agreement. The judges are on their feet when the piece is over. All three of them have loads of technique and I suspect will do well in the first few weeks. This being reality TV however, I’m not sure how Daniel will fare in the “personality” department. Stay tuned.
Janelle the bellydancer is in, thank goodness, along with two jazz dancers, Tiffany and Audrey. I think Audrey is the one Nigel called “Tinkerbell” at some point in the audition process. These two seem kind of interchangeable and forgettable to me but perhaps they will peak in the coming weeks.
Sonya (!) choreographed a jazz routine for the three of them but Janelle got ill and is forced to sit out on doctor’s orders. I feel bad for her despite the fact that she got oodles of screen time in the audition weeks. The other two avail themselves well enough in a piece by Sonya that seems labored. It’s not my favorite but I know that Sonya has all kinds of magic in that crazy hair of hers so I’m not worried.
Up next is a Stacey Tookey routine featuring Matthew (Nigel thinks he’s a Ryan Gosling look-a-like and yeah, I can see it a bit), Darien (a powerful dancer with lazy feet that the judges want to rip off his body), Janea (no idea who she is – apparently Adam Shankman was a huge fan of hers during Vegas week), and one other dancer. The fourth instrument in this chamber piece is Amelia, whose NYC audition dancing to Edith Piaf had me at hello. I like the routine but my eye keeps going to Amelia who simply has that thing, IT. Presence. Zooey agrees with me as she comments that Amelia is “lit from within.” I think Mary feels bad that all the judges commentary is about how terrific Amelia is so she throws Darien a compliment about his partnering work.
And then there were three.
Three spots left in the Top 20, that is. And seven dancers. Cole Horibe – the martial arts influenced dancer is in, as are Brandon (a stepper) and Cyrus, whom the producers have decided to call an “animator” for his unique style. Cyrus is original and I love what he does but he’s got his work cut out for him when it comes to any other style. Christopher Scott choreographs a dance for them that cannily plays to each of their strengths and lets each have his moment in the spotlight. Nevertheless, there are a couple of moments when Cyrus clearly has trouble keeping up. My guess is that his winning personality and his originality will get the votes and he’ll last a while, despite being technically weak. We shall see.
And now, readers, I bring you such good news. The top 10 girls dance together as do the top 10 guys. But wait! Wait. For I’ve yet to give you the best information of the entire episode – the girls dance to a Travis Wall piece and the guys to a Mia Michaels routine! Terpsichore is full of gladness and delight! Go to You Tube and delight your senses. You'll thank me.
What Happens in Vegas...
... is broadcast for millions of people because this is a reality show after all!
Forgive me, readers, for my lapse in coverage of episodes 3 and 4 of SYTYCD. Here’s what you missed:
First some background on how Vegas week works for the uninitiated.
During the first round of competition the finalists do a solo – they can either do the same piece they auditioned with before or a new solo. After that, it’s the choreography rounds: hip hop, Broadway, group dances (the dancers organize themselves into groups, select a piece of music at random and choreograph a routine to it – all after a day’s competition. Being that they are exhausted and doing this into the wee hours of the morning there is usually an emotional breakdown – or six – showcased). Next morning after the group dances, they do more choreography: jazz, ballroom, contemporary and then solos again. They can get cut at any point. It’s a grueling few days and my 39 year old self gets tired just watching them. The poor things, I think to myself. Then I remember that most of them are between 18 and 22, are in phenomenal shape, can kick their legs up to their ears, and my pity vanishes -- quickly replaced by my envy.
You may recall from episode one a certain dancer who gave himself the nickname “the Exorcist.” Further you may remember my disdain for this dancer. No? Oh, in that case, go here. As it turns out, he is first out of the gate in Vegas with his solo. He does his thing and we cut to the judges’ faces in various states of rapture. Debbie Allen is overheard whispering “Why am I crying?” I’ll tell you why, Debbie. BECAUSE HE PLAYED A SAD SONG. You are crying because the song is melancholy and lyrical and Hampton (the exorcist’s real name) has his sad face on. Enough of this bullshit about this guy being a genius (Nigel, he is not a genius and you must stop calling him that).
Once again, for reasons that remain absolutely mysterious to me, the judges ooh and aah over him. Whatever. I give up. They love him.
But then something astonishing happens. The hip hop round begins and as he tries learning the choreography he realizes he can’t do it. “That’s right,” I scream at my TV “Because you can only do ONE thing, which you just showed us during your solo and even that wasn’t very good!” He goes before the judges and tells them that he’s leaving as he can’t do the choreography. They are agog and aghast – surely he must be good at another style – but no, no, Nigel & Co., he is not. The only moment I have remotely liked this young man is when he removes himself from competition knowing that he is in over his head. Seriously, it takes courage, and for that, and that only, I applaud him.
Some other highlights from Vegas:
Two blond ballroom dancers, Whitney (whom I may have to start calling “boobs”) and Lindsay (who we’ll call “legs”) sail through the week. Both have incredible technique and buckets of stage presence.
Ameila (nickname: Edith Piaf - you may remember her from the NYC auditions; if not, read this), is forced to dance for her life after Sonya fails to see what’s special about her in the jazz round. Watching her solo, Sonya finally gets it and even whispers to Nigel that she can’t wait to get her choreographer hands all over her.
Another one forced to dance for her life is a little sexpot who WAY oversells the sex. She calls herself a burlesque/jazz dancer and I see little in the way of actual dance. (If this is the first time you’re reading my recaps I’ll take this moment to tout my own dance bona fides – 12 years of ballet training. Though I would NEVER call myself an expert, I do know a thing or two). During her dance for her life, she wears an oversize man’s shirt that she strips off to reveal teeny, tiny garments, she bites a tie she’s got as a prop, it’s… oh, she’s so misguided, this girl. She actually does have some potential as a dancer but she needs loads more training. Either that, or she should just go be a stripper ‘cause really, that seems closer to her heart. Before leaving, Debbie Allen says to her in as nice a way as possible (and sort of manages the nice part) “Next time, wear more clothing and DANCE.” Listen to Debbie, young lady.
At the end of the episode we are treated to a stunning solo from Cheon, one of this season’s male ballet dancers and he is beauty in motion. His strength is breathtaking, his lines perfect and his pirouettes stop on an actual dime. Did I mention that he’s also gorgeous? If he doesn’t make it to the Top 20 I will hunt Nigel down and punch him in the nuts.
We’re left with 35 dancers. The next episode is a lot of filler and fake outs as the judges choose the Top 20. Nails are being bitten and stress-bowel-movements are being had. And that’s just me! Imagine what the dancers are going through.
Forgive me, readers, for my lapse in coverage of episodes 3 and 4 of SYTYCD. Here’s what you missed:
- A lot of good dancers
- Some bad dancers
- Adam Shankman getting emotional (you’ll have plenty more chances to see this throughout the competition; it’s one of the reasons I love him)
Vegas callback week! Here’s what you missed:
- 181 dancers getting culled down to 35, from which the Top 20 will be chosen.
- Lots of crying.
- Adam Shankman getting emotional (see, I wouldn’t lie to you about that).
I feel guilty for shirking my duties regarding episodes 3/4 (I was feeling a bit under the weather and was out of town helping my father move into a new apartment in 100 degree heat and statewide power outage), so here are more details about Vegas week, which is always one of my favorite episodes of the season. Some dancers featured in the audition episodes sail through, others that seemed like an absolute lock don’t make it through the week.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
We Interrupt Our Previously Scheduled Broadcast
I cannot believe I'm about to type these words but I must confess to it - I'm watching The Bachelorette.
I know, I know. The show is gross and icky and weird. Yet here I sit.
All I can say is:
Emily, thank GOODNESS you sent Ryan home. That asshole was insufferable and I haven't watched a single episode before tonight.
Stay tuned for my recap of episodes 3 and 4 of So You Think You Can Dance.
I know, I know. The show is gross and icky and weird. Yet here I sit.
All I can say is:
Emily, thank GOODNESS you sent Ryan home. That asshole was insufferable and I haven't watched a single episode before tonight.
Stay tuned for my recap of episodes 3 and 4 of So You Think You Can Dance.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
LA LA LAND!
We’re in LA this week as the audition tour continues. Cat dances enthusiastically with contestants waiting to audition. (She makes her hosting job look so easy. It’s not, really. If you don’t believe me check out Nick Lachey on NBC’s THE SING OFF. Bless his heart, he tries. But he sucks. What?! Don’t yell at me, it’s the truth).
This week Jesse Tyler Ferguson is the guest judge! Some of you might be scratching your head about this as he does not have a dance background. What he does have, however, is a theatre background and an understanding of performance, stage presence and – quite importantly – what those auditioning are going through. As an actor myself, let me tell you, never underestimate the power of empathy coming from the other side of the table. (Actually, this goes for life in general. We would all do well to have more empathy for our fellow humans these days — aforementioned smack-down of Nick Lachey notwithstanding. Thus endeth today’s lesson. Coffee and doughnuts served downstairs immediately after the service).
Mary starts things off by warning the dancers against lip syncing (um… isn’t that obvious?), and instructs them not to touch themselves inappropriately. (Again, I am moved to comment about how obvious this latter instruction seems).
Alexa Anderson is up and we are reminded that she was *this close* to being in the Top 20 last season were it not for Ryan and her similarly tousled blonde locks. Alexa’s dancing strikes me as somewhat effortful but she’s clearly got technique and power. Nigel doesn’t even want to waste time trying to fake her out – the word “VEGAS” is out of his mouth in about 5 seconds.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson sings adorably out of happiness. I want a JTF doll to carry around in my pocket.
Uh oh. Next we have Johnny “Whacks” and he’ll be… you guessed it! Whacking! Reader, do I actually have to say it? Do I?
Fine (arms crossed tightly; frowning).
Whacking is not dancing. Repeat after me: Whacking is not dancing.
Whacking is waving your arms around your head wildly while wearing lots of plaid and pretending it is 1975. That’s exactly what happens after the requisite masturbation jokes from the judges’ panel due to Nigel almost saying “wanking” instead of “whacking.” It’s all very silly and fun (for them) but it gets old pretty quickly. Johnny does his thing and while he’s got charisma he does not have dance ability. But JTF thinks he’s like a Lenny Kravitz Russian nesting doll and they put him through to choreography. Whatever.
Eliana Girard is next and… wow. This one. She attended the Joffrey School on scholarship and then studied at Alvin Ailey. Then she was cast in a Cirque du Soleil show as a dancer/aerialist which in Quebecois translates to “classy pole dancer.” Her body is ridiculous. And her dancing is…
Extraordinary. Yay!!! She considers herself a contemporary ballet dancer and her audition is so lovely to watch that I don’t take any notes. I can’t look away from my television (she earns extra points from me for dancing en pointe, my old toe shoes being one of my all time favorite possessions). She gets a standing O from the judges – deservedly so. Mary (who, when not screaming like a wild banshee has astute things to say about dance) says she was “…like an instrument playing the song with your body;” Nigel praises her emotionality and Jesse compares her to Melanie!! And while Eliana’s audition did not move me to tears like Melanie did last season, I agree with JTF that she has all the qualities that made Melanie such a joy to watch: musicality, gorgeous, flawless technique and emotional investment. She’s the real deal. Vegas, natch.
And now we will waste the audience’s time with twins – Nick and James – who are 32 years old and therefore too old to compete. But they are flamboyant and funny so clearly we must showcase them! They go by the moniker The Ninja Twins and liken themselves to “Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie – but broke.” They think they are hilarious and have clearly gotten used to everyone telling them as much. It doesn’t help matters that Nigel & Co. are eating it up along with the dancers waiting to audition. The only redeeming thing about this segment is that Cat is wearing a cute vintage-y looking American flag t-shirt.
They do their routine to Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror (see, aren’t they clever!), they do some tumbling (which, like whacking falls into the “not dancing” category), the crowd goes wild and yells “Vegas” a thousand times and Nigel tells them they are too old for the competition JUST LIKE WE KNEW HE WOULD WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR AGE. Ninja Squared seem fine with it as obviously their goal was to get on TV, rather than go through to the next round of competition. Congratulations, fame whores! Job well done.
After that complete waste of time comes Sam Lenarz, 18. She can barely get through a chit-chat with Cat without crying and upon hearing why my heart breaks into a thousand tiny bits. Six months prior her mother kicked her out, without explanation. She came home one day to find her room all packed up and was ushered out the door. Her best friend’s family took her in and while she feels part of that family, the pain of her mother’s betrayal is practically leaking out of this poor girl’s pores. The fact that she is standing upright, let alone auditioning, at the tender age of 18 speaks volumes about the strength she’s got.
Her lines are beautiful and she has a lovely vulnerable quality. Nigel suggests that she tell more of a story rather than go from one move to another and while he has a point, it’s clear that she is a terrific dancer who should go straight through to Vegas. Lest we forget, Mr. Exorcist-Crawl-On-The-Floor guy got a ticket to Vegas so obviously she will too.
Nope! After telling her how amazing she is and asking after her family situation (I smell you, producers), they put her through to choreography. Okay, I get it. We, the viewing audience have come to care about her and in order to keep the stakes high and our eyes glued to the screen, they will tease us with the possibility that she won’t make it through the choreography round. It’s a cynical ploy at the expense of a wounded, brave girl and it makes me angry.
(SPOILER ALERT)
She goes through to Vegas. OF COURSE SHE DOES, I scream at my television, BECAUSE SHE IS A VERY TALENTED DANCER.
Next we spend some time with a few dancers who ultimately don’t make it through the choreography round so you don’t need me to tell you anything about them, right? You do? Okaaaaaay. There’s a moustachioed tap dancer, a circus performer who moves around and inside a steel wheel, and an arrogant Italian guy who auditioned before and has gone through an attitude adjustment. So he says. None of them pass choreography. Boo hoo.
Megan Branch, 18, a tiny, feisty thing with great energy and style goes straight to Vegas as does Cole Horibe who trained in martial arts before dancing. His piece is original and I’m intrigued by all the martial arts elements he included. But did he do enough dancing? Apparently so because after confirming that he has experience in other styles of dance (including ballroom!), he’s through to Vegas. I’m glad of this as it gives me another opportunity to look at his cheekbones and his stunning body.
Steven Jacobson. Oh, Steven. What a dummy this guy is. He’s a trained ballet dancer who threw his audition together “at the last minute.” Never a good idea. Also not a good idea? Doing a piece that basically mocks ballet ‘cause you think you’re being funny and original when in fact, you just look like an idiot jumping around to a song from the ‘60s. Nigel turns red and calls his performance “juvenile.” This guy dances with the Cincinnati Ballet – what is he doing pretending he can’t dance at all? Why mock your own ability?
We don’t learn why as Nigel insists he perform something else. They cue up some music aaaaaand there we go! He’s got glorious form and is clearly gifted. He gets a ticket to Vegas and nearly gets punched by Nigel. That would have been hilarious! Can you imagine if Nigel had gotten so irate he just hauled off and popped him one in the face?
No, no, that’s not funny. Violence is not funny. (Imagining Nigel trying to punch someone IS funny).
We end the evening on Jasmine Mason and her brother Marshea Kidd. Bottom line – they are wonderful and both are through to Vegas.
Oh, wait. Did I leave something out? Ah yes, that would be the fact that six weeks prior to the auditions they were involved in a head on collision which resulted in Marshea being pronounced DOA at the hospital, then being revived and in a coma for 2 days. And now he’s dancing. 6 weeks later. Sure, the producers milk the situation for all the drama it’s worth but hey, I can’t blame them. He was in a COMA and a few weeks later he’s like “I think I’ll just execute some stunning choreography and show off my technique, y’all don’t mind, do you?”
No, Marshea, we don’t mind. We applaud you.
Next week = Atlanta. And Debbie Allen as guest judge!
This week Jesse Tyler Ferguson is the guest judge! Some of you might be scratching your head about this as he does not have a dance background. What he does have, however, is a theatre background and an understanding of performance, stage presence and – quite importantly – what those auditioning are going through. As an actor myself, let me tell you, never underestimate the power of empathy coming from the other side of the table. (Actually, this goes for life in general. We would all do well to have more empathy for our fellow humans these days — aforementioned smack-down of Nick Lachey notwithstanding. Thus endeth today’s lesson. Coffee and doughnuts served downstairs immediately after the service).
Mary starts things off by warning the dancers against lip syncing (um… isn’t that obvious?), and instructs them not to touch themselves inappropriately. (Again, I am moved to comment about how obvious this latter instruction seems).
Alexa Anderson is up and we are reminded that she was *this close* to being in the Top 20 last season were it not for Ryan and her similarly tousled blonde locks. Alexa’s dancing strikes me as somewhat effortful but she’s clearly got technique and power. Nigel doesn’t even want to waste time trying to fake her out – the word “VEGAS” is out of his mouth in about 5 seconds.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson sings adorably out of happiness. I want a JTF doll to carry around in my pocket.
Uh oh. Next we have Johnny “Whacks” and he’ll be… you guessed it! Whacking! Reader, do I actually have to say it? Do I?
Fine (arms crossed tightly; frowning).
Whacking is not dancing. Repeat after me: Whacking is not dancing.
Whacking is waving your arms around your head wildly while wearing lots of plaid and pretending it is 1975. That’s exactly what happens after the requisite masturbation jokes from the judges’ panel due to Nigel almost saying “wanking” instead of “whacking.” It’s all very silly and fun (for them) but it gets old pretty quickly. Johnny does his thing and while he’s got charisma he does not have dance ability. But JTF thinks he’s like a Lenny Kravitz Russian nesting doll and they put him through to choreography. Whatever.
Eliana Girard is next and… wow. This one. She attended the Joffrey School on scholarship and then studied at Alvin Ailey. Then she was cast in a Cirque du Soleil show as a dancer/aerialist which in Quebecois translates to “classy pole dancer.” Her body is ridiculous. And her dancing is…
Extraordinary. Yay!!! She considers herself a contemporary ballet dancer and her audition is so lovely to watch that I don’t take any notes. I can’t look away from my television (she earns extra points from me for dancing en pointe, my old toe shoes being one of my all time favorite possessions). She gets a standing O from the judges – deservedly so. Mary (who, when not screaming like a wild banshee has astute things to say about dance) says she was “…like an instrument playing the song with your body;” Nigel praises her emotionality and Jesse compares her to Melanie!! And while Eliana’s audition did not move me to tears like Melanie did last season, I agree with JTF that she has all the qualities that made Melanie such a joy to watch: musicality, gorgeous, flawless technique and emotional investment. She’s the real deal. Vegas, natch.
And now we will waste the audience’s time with twins – Nick and James – who are 32 years old and therefore too old to compete. But they are flamboyant and funny so clearly we must showcase them! They go by the moniker The Ninja Twins and liken themselves to “Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie – but broke.” They think they are hilarious and have clearly gotten used to everyone telling them as much. It doesn’t help matters that Nigel & Co. are eating it up along with the dancers waiting to audition. The only redeeming thing about this segment is that Cat is wearing a cute vintage-y looking American flag t-shirt.
They do their routine to Michael Jackson’s Man In The Mirror (see, aren’t they clever!), they do some tumbling (which, like whacking falls into the “not dancing” category), the crowd goes wild and yells “Vegas” a thousand times and Nigel tells them they are too old for the competition JUST LIKE WE KNEW HE WOULD WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED THEIR AGE. Ninja Squared seem fine with it as obviously their goal was to get on TV, rather than go through to the next round of competition. Congratulations, fame whores! Job well done.
After that complete waste of time comes Sam Lenarz, 18. She can barely get through a chit-chat with Cat without crying and upon hearing why my heart breaks into a thousand tiny bits. Six months prior her mother kicked her out, without explanation. She came home one day to find her room all packed up and was ushered out the door. Her best friend’s family took her in and while she feels part of that family, the pain of her mother’s betrayal is practically leaking out of this poor girl’s pores. The fact that she is standing upright, let alone auditioning, at the tender age of 18 speaks volumes about the strength she’s got.
Her lines are beautiful and she has a lovely vulnerable quality. Nigel suggests that she tell more of a story rather than go from one move to another and while he has a point, it’s clear that she is a terrific dancer who should go straight through to Vegas. Lest we forget, Mr. Exorcist-Crawl-On-The-Floor guy got a ticket to Vegas so obviously she will too.
Nope! After telling her how amazing she is and asking after her family situation (I smell you, producers), they put her through to choreography. Okay, I get it. We, the viewing audience have come to care about her and in order to keep the stakes high and our eyes glued to the screen, they will tease us with the possibility that she won’t make it through the choreography round. It’s a cynical ploy at the expense of a wounded, brave girl and it makes me angry.
(SPOILER ALERT)
She goes through to Vegas. OF COURSE SHE DOES, I scream at my television, BECAUSE SHE IS A VERY TALENTED DANCER.
Next we spend some time with a few dancers who ultimately don’t make it through the choreography round so you don’t need me to tell you anything about them, right? You do? Okaaaaaay. There’s a moustachioed tap dancer, a circus performer who moves around and inside a steel wheel, and an arrogant Italian guy who auditioned before and has gone through an attitude adjustment. So he says. None of them pass choreography. Boo hoo.
Megan Branch, 18, a tiny, feisty thing with great energy and style goes straight to Vegas as does Cole Horibe who trained in martial arts before dancing. His piece is original and I’m intrigued by all the martial arts elements he included. But did he do enough dancing? Apparently so because after confirming that he has experience in other styles of dance (including ballroom!), he’s through to Vegas. I’m glad of this as it gives me another opportunity to look at his cheekbones and his stunning body.
Steven Jacobson. Oh, Steven. What a dummy this guy is. He’s a trained ballet dancer who threw his audition together “at the last minute.” Never a good idea. Also not a good idea? Doing a piece that basically mocks ballet ‘cause you think you’re being funny and original when in fact, you just look like an idiot jumping around to a song from the ‘60s. Nigel turns red and calls his performance “juvenile.” This guy dances with the Cincinnati Ballet – what is he doing pretending he can’t dance at all? Why mock your own ability?
We don’t learn why as Nigel insists he perform something else. They cue up some music aaaaaand there we go! He’s got glorious form and is clearly gifted. He gets a ticket to Vegas and nearly gets punched by Nigel. That would have been hilarious! Can you imagine if Nigel had gotten so irate he just hauled off and popped him one in the face?
No, no, that’s not funny. Violence is not funny. (Imagining Nigel trying to punch someone IS funny).
We end the evening on Jasmine Mason and her brother Marshea Kidd. Bottom line – they are wonderful and both are through to Vegas.
Oh, wait. Did I leave something out? Ah yes, that would be the fact that six weeks prior to the auditions they were involved in a head on collision which resulted in Marshea being pronounced DOA at the hospital, then being revived and in a coma for 2 days. And now he’s dancing. 6 weeks later. Sure, the producers milk the situation for all the drama it’s worth but hey, I can’t blame them. He was in a COMA and a few weeks later he’s like “I think I’ll just execute some stunning choreography and show off my technique, y’all don’t mind, do you?”
No, Marshea, we don’t mind. We applaud you.
Next week = Atlanta. And Debbie Allen as guest judge!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Summer 2012
What comes to your mind when you think about summer? If any of the following words rolled off your tongue - beach, surfing, vacation, sunburn - you are WRONG! (Okay, sunburn is technically correct, especially if you are pale pale pale like me).
No, my little penguins, the correct answer is:
Season 9 of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!
I will be the first to admit that this season will be difficult for me as it will not include last season's champion Melanie. 'Cause, you know, she already won. However I would like to suggest to Nigel Lythgoe that he bring her back every week to perform a solo just so that we can once again have our regular dose of beauty, technique, storytelling and heart in the petite package that is Melanie. (Yes, I have two crushes on her - a girl crush and a dancer crush).
Let me also come right out and proclaim myself a dance snob. As a former dancer I have the right to be so and will brook no dissent. With the preliminaries out of the way, let's begin!
This year the producers decide to start things off by dissing all the singing competitions that clog the airwaves and asking the viewers at home if they aren't ready for some DANCE. I love me a good singer on those shows (hi, Kelly Clarkson and Adam Lambert), but yes, ready for dance am I.
Cat Deeley (Cat!) gets things under way by taking us to the NYC auditions. The delightful Ms. Deeley introduces our "jiiidges" - Nigel (our favorite pervy Brit), Mary (hopefully screaming less this year) and Tyce (ugh. gross).
Up first is 18 year old Amelia Lowe, which rhymes with Clara Bow, whom perhaps Amelia is trying to channel. She's all about the 1920s and while adorable, the montage the producers decided to give her goes on a biiiit too long. C'est la vie. All is forgiven when she starts dancing - to Edith Piaf singing Rien de Rien no less! It's a great choice, and one of the few times I can recall listening to Madame Piaf and not wanting to stick a hot poker in my ear. She does what the best contestants on this show do - she tells a story with her body. There is a narrative here and while each person watching may interpret it differently, a story is being told and that's lovely to watch in such a young dancer. She embodies the music beautifully, has technique to spare and uses the space incredibly well. She's the full package and the judges know it because they give her a standing O! Way to set the bar high, Amelia Bedelia - well done. Vegas!
Up next is Japan's version of Carrot Top - from the video intro I can't tell if he annoys me or not. I need more time with him, one Toshihiko Nakasawa. He does a hip-hop locking routine and it's great but now instead of seeing Carrot Top all I can picture is a Japanese Raggedy Andy doll. Creative use of music? Check. Charisma? Check. But I'm not sure what it all adds up to in the end. Methinks I'd be a valuable member of the judging panel because they seem to agree and ask him to stick around for choreography to see what else he can do. That's fair.
Oh dear. Austin Freeman, 21. I hate him already. He's doing a dance that he invented (of course) called "Mr. Wiggles." Um... I'm sorry to break it to him but that "dance" was actually invented by toddlers everywhere. It's called "shaking your butt around." Apropos really, as all Austin resembles is an irritating toddler being encouraged by a group of adults. We get it, producers - you have to (read: want to) show us the weirdos, but please don't waste any more time on this guy. Alas, the producers do not hear me yelling at my TV as Nigel & Co. ask him about himself. He wants to be a celebrity. God help us. He dances to "I'm Sexy And I Know It" which causes the following reactions: Mary laughs, Nigel stops the music and Tyce says it made him sad. And for once I don't want to punch Tyce in the face as I completely agree with him.
Shafeek Westbrook (oh boy, I hope I didn't mangle the spelling of his name!) is a street performer who likes to flip over things. He does a smart breaking routine to a violin piece and for the second time this episode we see someone who knows how to use music. He's charismatic and Nigel praises his originality. Vegas.
Japanese Raggedy Andy struggles in the choreography round and says he'll see us next time. That's too bad - he kind of grew on me.
Day 2 brings Leo Reyes whom I want to scoop up in my arms even before I hear his awful story about discovering his mother after she'd swallowed a bottle of pills. She survived - he kept telling her she couldn't die because she hadn't seen him dance onstage yet. My heart just broke into a thousand tiny pieces. This kid. Boy I hope he's good.
He is! He does a lovely pirouette a la seconde and while the song choice is way too obvious, he's through to Vegas!
Then a montage of bad dancers including one whom Tyce labels as "filthy." I like it when Tyce is upset.
Chelon Wespi-Tschoop is next and if you haven't seen the episode I'll pay you $1,000 if you can tell me what country he's from.** He's a gorgeous ballet dancer who performs to a rock song - an idea I love. Ballet being my favorite of all favorites, I always get excited to see the ballet dancers show up. Chelon is handsome and humble and he's through to Vegas, obviously.
38 dancers from NYC got tix to Vegas and we, the viewing audience, are rewarded with a montage of Cat celebrating with the contestants who made it through the choreography round. She's so genuinely happy for each of them. Cat, will you be my best friend? We can talk about boys and paint our toenails and braid each other's hair. Well... my hair is short but I'll braid your hair and you can pick out all my clothes because you have great style.
Now we're on to Dallas and joining Nigel and Mary is linguistically inventive Lil' C! Yay for two reasons: 1) Lil' C is BUCK and 2) no Tyce!
Bree Hafen, 29, is first. Here's what you need to know: she's got two painfully adorable children whom Nigel seats in his judge's chair so they can watch mommy from a better vantage point. She's a lovely dancer and her son shouts out "I love you" while she's dancing and my heart melts. As she is still performing Nigel hands her son a ticket to Vegas and he walks up onstage to hand it to her. She envelopes him and it's so warm and happy and I'm crying. And then, when it can't possibly get even cuter, Bree's 2 year old daughter, Stella, starts dancing and it's already clear that this child will be a dancer just like her mother. If the whole thing were any sweeter I would get a cavity. As it is, it remains safely on the side of "awwwww" and does not head into "all right, enough" territory.
What comes next is the antithesis of Bree and her blond moppets of cuteness. Two male dancers (and I use the term loosely), one of whom is a Zombie and the other who does "exorcist style" dancing. One or both of them might be seriously disturbed. Let's find out.
Zombie, aka Stephen, is first and he's better than I thought he'd be. Popping, locking, the judges are entertained, Lil' C looooves him and he's through to Vegas. And now...
Exorcist - whose name I do not know, nor do I care to know, claims that he takes people's souls while he dances and then when finished, he returns said souls, cleansed. Sigh. I'm tired already. He begins - there's a little bit of popping and a lot of crawling across the floor as sad music plays. Mary looks moved (oh, Mary), the other dancers start applauding and the judges give him a standing O. Nigel says he's an artist and "could be a genius." He is through to Vegas and I call big, fat bullshit! He crawled on the floor. Why didn't they make him go through to choreography? Because he's good TV, that's why. Mark my words, it's the song that got him through. ("My Immortal" by Evanescence for the curious among you). I could spit I'm so irritated.
After day one in Dallas 10 dancers are going to Vegas and Cat is sporting an adorable side braid.
Day two in the Lone Star State starts with Daniel Baker, 25, from Australia who currently dances with the San Francisco Ballet. The women in the audience are shrieking because he's quite nice to look at. And there's the small, insignificant fact that his technique is SICK. His grande jetes are stunning. (You'll have to forgive my lack of appropriate accent marks - it pains me but I don't know how to insert them on this blog post. I shall learn). In any case, the judges half-heartedly try to fake him out but everyone knows that he's straight through to Vegas.
Sam Sheffler is next and I'm concerned for him. He falls somewhere on the autism spectrum and while it's clear that he's not got the dance ability for this competition, he loves it as it allows him a way to express himself. He's darling and I want to hug him. He gets the dancers in the audience to do his "ocean" arm move and it's very heartwarming. Oh, creative people - I love you. You are generous, good-hearted creatures.
Except for the asshat we encounter next. I won't waste a lot of space on him except to say that he openly dismisses the show (while allowing himself to be filmed wearing his hamster outfit, naturally). Cat is not having any of it. Her response to his statement that he doesn't care if he gets cut is "Good, 'cause I pretty much guarantee you will be." This is another reason why we love her. Anywho, he's rude, he can't dance and Nigel tells him to fuck right off.
At the end of day two we come to Jarrelle Rochelle whom I adore. Great smile, open face and he's wearing suspenders (braces, if you're an Anglophile like me) so he already gets lots of points from me. His mother is slowly going blind so Nigel beckons mom to sit in his seat so she can see her son better. Oh, reality television... how you manipulate my emotions! It works, I am teary and then Nigel pipes up with "Don't drink my water, it's vodka." Brilliant.
Jarrelle is terrific and his mother's face is FILLED with pride and joy - she could light up the entire theatre, so brightly is she beaming at her boy. Nigel tells her to walk up onstage and hand her son his ticket to Vegas and I am hugging my pillow tightly, overcome at the display of maternal pride and filial gratitude.
Thank you, show.
Next week, Los Angeles auditions! How messy-adorable will Cat's hair be? How many looney fame hogs will the show feature over actual dancers who can dance? Who will join Mary and Nigel on the panel? It's so exciting I have to do some plies to relax before I go to bed.
ps: Prediction for this season: someone will choreograph a piece to that song "Cough Syrup" by Young the Giant. It will most likely be Mandy Moore and therefore far too literal with the dancers carrying huge prop bottles of NyQuil.
** = Not really. And... Switzerland.
No, my little penguins, the correct answer is:
Season 9 of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!
I will be the first to admit that this season will be difficult for me as it will not include last season's champion Melanie. 'Cause, you know, she already won. However I would like to suggest to Nigel Lythgoe that he bring her back every week to perform a solo just so that we can once again have our regular dose of beauty, technique, storytelling and heart in the petite package that is Melanie. (Yes, I have two crushes on her - a girl crush and a dancer crush).
Let me also come right out and proclaim myself a dance snob. As a former dancer I have the right to be so and will brook no dissent. With the preliminaries out of the way, let's begin!
This year the producers decide to start things off by dissing all the singing competitions that clog the airwaves and asking the viewers at home if they aren't ready for some DANCE. I love me a good singer on those shows (hi, Kelly Clarkson and Adam Lambert), but yes, ready for dance am I.
Cat Deeley (Cat!) gets things under way by taking us to the NYC auditions. The delightful Ms. Deeley introduces our "jiiidges" - Nigel (our favorite pervy Brit), Mary (hopefully screaming less this year) and Tyce (ugh. gross).
Up first is 18 year old Amelia Lowe, which rhymes with Clara Bow, whom perhaps Amelia is trying to channel. She's all about the 1920s and while adorable, the montage the producers decided to give her goes on a biiiit too long. C'est la vie. All is forgiven when she starts dancing - to Edith Piaf singing Rien de Rien no less! It's a great choice, and one of the few times I can recall listening to Madame Piaf and not wanting to stick a hot poker in my ear. She does what the best contestants on this show do - she tells a story with her body. There is a narrative here and while each person watching may interpret it differently, a story is being told and that's lovely to watch in such a young dancer. She embodies the music beautifully, has technique to spare and uses the space incredibly well. She's the full package and the judges know it because they give her a standing O! Way to set the bar high, Amelia Bedelia - well done. Vegas!
Up next is Japan's version of Carrot Top - from the video intro I can't tell if he annoys me or not. I need more time with him, one Toshihiko Nakasawa. He does a hip-hop locking routine and it's great but now instead of seeing Carrot Top all I can picture is a Japanese Raggedy Andy doll. Creative use of music? Check. Charisma? Check. But I'm not sure what it all adds up to in the end. Methinks I'd be a valuable member of the judging panel because they seem to agree and ask him to stick around for choreography to see what else he can do. That's fair.
Oh dear. Austin Freeman, 21. I hate him already. He's doing a dance that he invented (of course) called "Mr. Wiggles." Um... I'm sorry to break it to him but that "dance" was actually invented by toddlers everywhere. It's called "shaking your butt around." Apropos really, as all Austin resembles is an irritating toddler being encouraged by a group of adults. We get it, producers - you have to (read: want to) show us the weirdos, but please don't waste any more time on this guy. Alas, the producers do not hear me yelling at my TV as Nigel & Co. ask him about himself. He wants to be a celebrity. God help us. He dances to "I'm Sexy And I Know It" which causes the following reactions: Mary laughs, Nigel stops the music and Tyce says it made him sad. And for once I don't want to punch Tyce in the face as I completely agree with him.
Shafeek Westbrook (oh boy, I hope I didn't mangle the spelling of his name!) is a street performer who likes to flip over things. He does a smart breaking routine to a violin piece and for the second time this episode we see someone who knows how to use music. He's charismatic and Nigel praises his originality. Vegas.
Japanese Raggedy Andy struggles in the choreography round and says he'll see us next time. That's too bad - he kind of grew on me.
Day 2 brings Leo Reyes whom I want to scoop up in my arms even before I hear his awful story about discovering his mother after she'd swallowed a bottle of pills. She survived - he kept telling her she couldn't die because she hadn't seen him dance onstage yet. My heart just broke into a thousand tiny pieces. This kid. Boy I hope he's good.
He is! He does a lovely pirouette a la seconde and while the song choice is way too obvious, he's through to Vegas!
Then a montage of bad dancers including one whom Tyce labels as "filthy." I like it when Tyce is upset.
Chelon Wespi-Tschoop is next and if you haven't seen the episode I'll pay you $1,000 if you can tell me what country he's from.** He's a gorgeous ballet dancer who performs to a rock song - an idea I love. Ballet being my favorite of all favorites, I always get excited to see the ballet dancers show up. Chelon is handsome and humble and he's through to Vegas, obviously.
38 dancers from NYC got tix to Vegas and we, the viewing audience, are rewarded with a montage of Cat celebrating with the contestants who made it through the choreography round. She's so genuinely happy for each of them. Cat, will you be my best friend? We can talk about boys and paint our toenails and braid each other's hair. Well... my hair is short but I'll braid your hair and you can pick out all my clothes because you have great style.
Now we're on to Dallas and joining Nigel and Mary is linguistically inventive Lil' C! Yay for two reasons: 1) Lil' C is BUCK and 2) no Tyce!
Bree Hafen, 29, is first. Here's what you need to know: she's got two painfully adorable children whom Nigel seats in his judge's chair so they can watch mommy from a better vantage point. She's a lovely dancer and her son shouts out "I love you" while she's dancing and my heart melts. As she is still performing Nigel hands her son a ticket to Vegas and he walks up onstage to hand it to her. She envelopes him and it's so warm and happy and I'm crying. And then, when it can't possibly get even cuter, Bree's 2 year old daughter, Stella, starts dancing and it's already clear that this child will be a dancer just like her mother. If the whole thing were any sweeter I would get a cavity. As it is, it remains safely on the side of "awwwww" and does not head into "all right, enough" territory.
What comes next is the antithesis of Bree and her blond moppets of cuteness. Two male dancers (and I use the term loosely), one of whom is a Zombie and the other who does "exorcist style" dancing. One or both of them might be seriously disturbed. Let's find out.
Zombie, aka Stephen, is first and he's better than I thought he'd be. Popping, locking, the judges are entertained, Lil' C looooves him and he's through to Vegas. And now...
Exorcist - whose name I do not know, nor do I care to know, claims that he takes people's souls while he dances and then when finished, he returns said souls, cleansed. Sigh. I'm tired already. He begins - there's a little bit of popping and a lot of crawling across the floor as sad music plays. Mary looks moved (oh, Mary), the other dancers start applauding and the judges give him a standing O. Nigel says he's an artist and "could be a genius." He is through to Vegas and I call big, fat bullshit! He crawled on the floor. Why didn't they make him go through to choreography? Because he's good TV, that's why. Mark my words, it's the song that got him through. ("My Immortal" by Evanescence for the curious among you). I could spit I'm so irritated.
After day one in Dallas 10 dancers are going to Vegas and Cat is sporting an adorable side braid.
Day two in the Lone Star State starts with Daniel Baker, 25, from Australia who currently dances with the San Francisco Ballet. The women in the audience are shrieking because he's quite nice to look at. And there's the small, insignificant fact that his technique is SICK. His grande jetes are stunning. (You'll have to forgive my lack of appropriate accent marks - it pains me but I don't know how to insert them on this blog post. I shall learn). In any case, the judges half-heartedly try to fake him out but everyone knows that he's straight through to Vegas.
Sam Sheffler is next and I'm concerned for him. He falls somewhere on the autism spectrum and while it's clear that he's not got the dance ability for this competition, he loves it as it allows him a way to express himself. He's darling and I want to hug him. He gets the dancers in the audience to do his "ocean" arm move and it's very heartwarming. Oh, creative people - I love you. You are generous, good-hearted creatures.
Except for the asshat we encounter next. I won't waste a lot of space on him except to say that he openly dismisses the show (while allowing himself to be filmed wearing his hamster outfit, naturally). Cat is not having any of it. Her response to his statement that he doesn't care if he gets cut is "Good, 'cause I pretty much guarantee you will be." This is another reason why we love her. Anywho, he's rude, he can't dance and Nigel tells him to fuck right off.
At the end of day two we come to Jarrelle Rochelle whom I adore. Great smile, open face and he's wearing suspenders (braces, if you're an Anglophile like me) so he already gets lots of points from me. His mother is slowly going blind so Nigel beckons mom to sit in his seat so she can see her son better. Oh, reality television... how you manipulate my emotions! It works, I am teary and then Nigel pipes up with "Don't drink my water, it's vodka." Brilliant.
Jarrelle is terrific and his mother's face is FILLED with pride and joy - she could light up the entire theatre, so brightly is she beaming at her boy. Nigel tells her to walk up onstage and hand her son his ticket to Vegas and I am hugging my pillow tightly, overcome at the display of maternal pride and filial gratitude.
Thank you, show.
Next week, Los Angeles auditions! How messy-adorable will Cat's hair be? How many looney fame hogs will the show feature over actual dancers who can dance? Who will join Mary and Nigel on the panel? It's so exciting I have to do some plies to relax before I go to bed.
ps: Prediction for this season: someone will choreograph a piece to that song "Cough Syrup" by Young the Giant. It will most likely be Mandy Moore and therefore far too literal with the dancers carrying huge prop bottles of NyQuil.
** = Not really. And... Switzerland.
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